Navigating Grief as a Sibling of a Person with a Disability

By Olivia Kaplan

Grief is a universal yet deeply personal experience, affecting each of us in unique ways. For siblings of individuals with disabilities, grief can take on additional layers, encompassing not only the loss of a loved one but also the evolving complexities of caregiving, changes in family dynamics, and unspoken emotions tied to lifelong roles. At SIBS Support IN, we recognize the profound impact grief can have on siblings, and we believe in the power of connection and support to navigate this journey.

Understanding Grief as a Sibling

Grief as a sibling of a person with a disability can be multifaceted. It may emerge from the loss of a brother or sister, the realization of lifelong caregiving responsibilities, or even the challenges of navigating societal perceptions and personal aspirations. Some siblings experience anticipatory grief, mourning the future they imagined for themselves and their family. Others struggle with unspoken emotions, balancing love and dedication with feelings of guilt, resentment, or exhaustion.

The image contrasts the linear perception of the grieving process with its actual complexity, illustrating how people wish grief to be straightforward versus its complicated and tangled reality.

There is no “right” way to grieve, nor is there a set timeline for healing. Some people find solace in solitude, while others lean on their community for comfort. Whatever your process looks like, it is important to give yourself grace and patience.

Ways to Cope with Grief

While grief is a natural part of life, it can feel overwhelming at times. Here are some strategies to help manage grief and foster healing:

1. Lean on Your Support System

   Surrounding yourself with family, friends, or a sibling support group can provide comfort and reassurance. Connecting with other siblings who understand your experience can lessen feelings of isolation and loneliness.

2. Express Your Feelings Creatively

   Sometimes, words are not enough. Finding a creative outlet, such as journaling, painting, making a scrapbook, or writing a letter to your sibling or yourself, can be a meaningful way to process emotions.

3. Face Your Feelings

   Suppressing grief may provide temporary relief, but healing comes from acknowledging and working through painful emotions. Allow yourself to feel sadness, frustration, or even relief without judgment—these emotions are all valid.

4. Seek Professional Support

   If grief becomes too difficult to handle alone, seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist can provide valuable tools and coping mechanisms. Professionals who specialize in sibling relationships and disability-related grief can offer a safe space for expression and healing.

5. Maintain Routine and Engage in Hobbies

   Returning to familiar activities can provide comfort and a sense of normalcy. Engaging in hobbies or interests that bring joy can serve as a reminder that your own life and identity matter, beyond your role as a sibling.

6. Prioritize Physical Well-Being

   The connection between physical and emotional health is profound. Getting enough rest, eating nourishing foods, and engaging in movement—whether it’s a walk outside or a favorite form of exercise—can help manage stress and improve overall well-being.

Finding Support Through Community

At SIBS Support IN, we understand that grief is a journey that doesn’t have to be traveled alone. Support groups, counseling resources, and trauma-informed care initiatives can provide ongoing encouragement and a sense of belonging. Connecting with other siblings who have experienced similar challenges and losses can be a powerful source of healing and understanding.

Moving Forward with Compassion

Grief does not have an endpoint, but rather it evolves over time. It’s okay to have good days and hard days. What matters most is allowing yourself to grieve in your own way, at your own pace. Healing is not about forgetting, but about learning to carry love and memories forward in a way that honors both your loss and your continued journey.

Navigating life’s curveballs: embrace the difficult moments, progress with small steps, accept fear and doubt, and keep the faith.

If you or someone you know is struggling with grief related to being a sibling of a person with a disability, know that you are not alone. SIBS Support IN is here to provide resources, support, and a compassionate community to walk alongside you on this path toward healing.